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Nobody's laughing now
02 November 2010 @ 08:05 am


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[Banner in entry compliments of _tiger_saver_ ; mood theme from onensong ; layout from milou_veronica; header from marylou_gr.]

It seems as though you have found my journal! As it is Friends Only:

1. Tell me who you are.
2. Tell me how you found my journal.
3. Tell me why you'd like to add me.
4. Leave your favorite quote.

:)
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
28 November 2012 @ 11:46 am
So, as I just posted to freac_camp:

I've created ilu_whereupon as a support comm for all those who want to do something for whereupon.  littlegirlvik initially asked for her Paypal account again, and I added that info to the entry I made last night, but I wanted to provide another way to show support.

I think only a few of you fellow SPN fans follow me here but not on FC, but all the same, I wanted to ask you all to please repost/signal boost my post there, to your own flists, any comms you might moderate, etc.  I can't access her flist since her journal's unavailable right now, but I know she was widely known and beloved, and everyone who cares about her ought to know that there's a way they can reach out.

 
 
Current Location: hug back
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
02 August 2012 @ 10:36 pm
Hey, everyone.

I can't begin to describe what the last several months have been like.  I know I've all but disappeared -- for a while I made a series of private entries, but then those stopped too.  And now this is my first public post in over five years.

It's been really difficult for me to collect my thoughts to write any kind of RL post while things were still in limbo, when they changed drastically from week to week and we never knew where the fuck we'd end up tomorrow.  And I have problems admitting to a general audience, or even such people as my parents, that things may not be okay, that I might be over my head.  It's something I'm going to talk to my therapist about next week.

Back to the point.

So a little over a month ago, I made this post and whereupon made this one.  And the response, just from our mutual flists before it even hit copperbadge's Radio Free Monday post, was absolutely overwhelming.  Fandom blew me away, and I am no newbie to fandom's power.  It was the first time I've ever found hesychasm's "Fandom is..." post insufficient to capture what fandom is and does and is capable of.

You guys -- on my flist, hers, and from all over fandom -- gave so fucking much.  So much more than I dared to hope.  And it helped us more than I could ever express, both with practical matters and giving us the best respite and peace of mind we had in a very long period.  I specifically want to thank maraceles and mimblexwimble for providing extra help in signal-boosting our plea for help, and especially maraceles for going over and beyond by tapping into a vast network of medical professionals and finding the neurologist who turned out to be the one who could finally, finally, finally diagnose whereupon's condition(s).  

Because yes, that finally happened yesterday.

The day before yesterday, whereupon made another update here, which gives you some indication of what we've been going through.  "Paralyzed with terror" is also an accurate summary.

But the neurologist, as I said, came through.  I kind of feel like I am stealing b.'s thunder by posting this list first, but she's assured me it's okay -- so, these are the diagnoses neatly listed on our print-out:
  • Atypical facial pain (which is not TMJ, nor trigeminal neuralgia, nor several other major conditions; he wants an MRI to determine if it's something else related to the migraines, but for now, this is what it is)
  • Chronic pain syndrome
  • Migraines
  • Malnutrition
  • Chronic major depression
I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to finally find someone who could look at her and essentially say, "Yes, I recognize what you are going through, it is real, and I'm going to help you through it."

We are in a far, far better place now than we've ever been so far, and yet we have a long way to go still.

Unfortunately, this neurologist is not covered by her health insurance, so the visits are incredibly expensive ($230 each), especially considering that she's not yet been able to find work due to her health (though now that we finally have the question of her immediate and long-term health care settled, it should be easier).  More fortunately, he's only asking to see her twice more this year (in one month, then three months after that).  It's still going to be very tough to get the funds for those, not to mention the MRI, even with insurance, and a whole host of assorted prescriptions to hopefully start giving her a better quality of life.  And it is also worth repeating the bit in b.'s post about how her mother has threatened to take away her insurance.

We have a long road ahead, even though we can finally feel the road beneath our feet and have some sense of where we're headed. And I will never forget how you all made this possible.  Because you really, really did.  You gave us hope, you pushed us on when we were running out of every kind of resources, and you gave us the name of the doctor who could help.  ...And if you are so motivated and able to do so, further assistance -- particularly with finding employment in the Houston area (she has experience in receptionist/administrative work), or with donations -- would be so very, very appreciated.  Her paypal is b.n.strachanATgmailDOTcom.

Thank you again, everyone. ♥ Hopefully I can start making more frequent, less dramatic entries soon.
 
 
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
24 June 2012 @ 05:22 pm
So, this is going to appear in copperbadge's Radio Free Monday post tomorrow, and I wanted to go ahead and signal-boost it now with my flist.

whereupon has offered a succinct and utterly factual explanation of what's going on (and I don't know how she did it, seeing how she's barely been able to get out of bed this weekend due to overwhelming nausea/disorientation/pain, and she was combating double vision even as she typed it), with requests for any kind of assistance people are able to offer: whether employment opportunities, doctor/medical recommendations, or financial.

So much is out of our control -- we'll hopefully find out tomorrow whether a pain clinic that we've been struggling with all last week, including arranging to have records submitted to them twice over after they cancelled the appointment they originally scheduled with her, will even accept her as a patient and schedule a first appointment -- but getting some help now will at least give us more options, rather than resorting to the very last one of her returning long-term to Alaska.

Fuck, I want her to still be here in a week's time.
 
 
Current Location: hug back
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
01 January 2007 @ 02:24 am
First 2007 entry! Now there will be four years from which to click in my journal archive...

And I am not starting off the year by living up to my resolution of not being lame.

Well, here is this entry anyway. Concerning icons. I have just spent about ten minutes trying to find this page, even though I'm not sure if I were to copy/paste the link now, it would come out as I want it too (with the tags sorted in order from most used to least used).

...Oh, hint for myself: maybe if you look at the Edit Galleries page first, and sort those by Images, and then switch it over to Edit Tag Galleries...I think that should work every time!

Okay, anyway, to the point of the entry for which I have spent so much time trying to find that page in that exact set-up.

I'm still an icon collector likewhoa, you know, though I no longer mention when I update my icon galleries and such (I usually do it about every weekend now, so there's not too much build-up) . I've divided my big random gallery into many more sub-galleries, which helps a bit with keeping it less cluttered and easy to find certain ones. I also did some re-organizing of my main random gallery, putting my dramatic/pretentious icons better together, as well as my culture icons. (I do have an elaborate system for how I organize my icons in nearly every folder, and the ones that don't have a clear system distress me, such as my black-and-white gallery - it seems hopelessly jumbled.) And I demoted some icons off the (very prestigious, as it holds basically my top favorite icons ever) first page (technically, I suppose, the first two pages), and raised some new ones to it.

...Just for an example now, and to amuse myself, I'll list the order of my icon groups in my main random gallery, by the little names I call them in my head - within the groups, I organize them by how the color or theme of the icons flow with the ones around it: favorites (within it, skin, body, and clothes), bridal, lingerie/nudity, blondes, redheads, brunettes, expressions/semi-dramatic, color (in clothes), males, murder, expressions/dramatic, activities-outdoors, style/make-up, artistic sports, interesting clothes (including corsets), culture, dramatic clothes, period clothes, outdoors dramatic, shows (random settings), hands and feet, children/school, books/writing, common actions, random, signs.

Annnnyway. I still just follow a few key communities that specialize in the icons I like (simplelimit , minimal_icons , obsessiveicons ) rather than befriending all my favorite icon-makers, as they all post in those communities anyway whenever they make the icons I like. There are a few exceptions, of course - justthreemiles , blancwene , restless_olivia  (the latter two because of special requests, and the first just because she was my first favorite icon-maker and still is untouchable in some aspects - my default icon right now is one of hers).  And just yesterday I made another exception, for raevnn and her community non_essentials, because she is quite clearly completely exceptional as well. 

I was commenting to her to tell her how awesome she really is and then mentioning some of my other favorite icon-makers, when I thought I'd like to make a post listing my favorites.  The whole record-thing again, you know, I want to know who I value now.  Maybe later I'll make another list, when I think it's significantly changed.

So now I finally have that page which lists all my tags in order of most used to least, and I can tell which makers (since I always tag by the icon-maker's username) I especially favor.
...WOW that got extensive.  *dies*  I think I'll make this post public now, as it would be such a great resource, if anyone cared or happened to share my taste.

Now that's the list of my most-saved-from icon-makers, from most often to least.  However, let me also list briefly whom I consider my well-established favorites: justthreemiles, eloquentice, featherduster, enriana. ...And that's actually all.

Hem.  Well, on a last note - icons really have given me an appreciation for photography (and Photoshop) which I had never had before.  It's been a really fun hobby.  I'm slightly afraid of how big my saved-and-uploaded collection has gotten, though, and how I will eventually run out of room...if I have to, I'll move all my other pictures to Photoshop accounts and then possibly go through all of them and delete old ones which no longer meet my standards.  But that's still a long way off.  I hope.

ETA:  Forgot to include enriana among my well-established favorites, with the three others.  *facepalm*
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
09 June 2006 @ 03:21 pm
The poll I mentioned in my to-do list yesterday. Seemed like a good and interesting question...ooh, I think I'll actually make this post public and submit it to thedaily_snitch.

Poll #745146 The gripping factor in scenes at the end of each Harry Potter book

If you were reading each for the very first time, during which scene would it be the hardest to put the book down and do something else trivial, like going out with friends?

During the end of the first, when the trio are going down the trapdoor and everything that follows
2(1.2%)
During the second, when Harry and Ron have figured out the pipes and are going down the sink
5(3.0%)
During the third, with everything in the Shrieking Shack
35(20.8%)
During the fourth, with the graveyard scene
57(33.9%)
During the fifth, in the Ministry, but especially the Department of Mysteries
38(22.6%)
During the sixth, when Harry and Dumbledore are in the cave, but also everything that follows
31(18.5%)

Which would be the second-hardest?

The first
6(3.6%)
The second
14(8.3%)
The third
39(23.2%)
The fourth
37(22.0%)
The fifth
29(17.3%)
The sixth
43(25.6%)
 
 
Current Music: Bodhisattva Cathedral - Hellsing [RAID]
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
05 May 2006 @ 01:06 am
My share of love to...the whole world.

This entry is meant to be public.

(Actually, yeah, I just want to be able to see it even when I'm signed out.)




(Really didn't come out as bad as I feared.  Especially the first two.  Which are, obviously, the most important.)
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
04 November 2005 @ 08:59 am
Sorry, a lot of my links were broken and I hadn't updated the list for a while - so I'll just link you directly to Solid&Etc., the site from which I listed all those pictures.  This is the main gallery page; at the top are links to previous years' weekly pictures, then thumbnails from recent weekly pictures, and beneath that where it says "Sketch" and all those numbers is the collection of other pictures she's done (just the non-weekly pictures) which I highly recommend.  Also, there's more here, and that's pretty much all I know of.  Enjoy!
 
 
Nobody's laughing now
13 July 2005 @ 05:40 pm

Vote how you believe, not what you wish.


Poll #531904 Sirius vs. death

Is Sirius dead or not, dammit?

YES!
78(60.5%)
NO!
20(15.5%)
...I am so indecisive that I cannot decide even after two years and some twenty days.
31(24.0%)


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Nobody's laughing now
08 May 2005 @ 08:10 pm
Another curiosity poll.
Concerning the Dark MarkCollapse )